"While sitting on 11th fl. terrace, I see the sun rising over ocean horizon
and setting beyond Intracoastal Waterways.
This spaciousness draws me into mysteries of above.
While walking on the beach, I am bound to earth below, engaging the physical world of action."
Full Moon March 2019
In the Heavens:
Starring out at the horizon over the ocean, I see dark clouds reorganizing and reshaping, weaving in and out of shadow and light. This tableau is reminding me that changing conditions are the only reality in life and our job is to keep afloat and move towards balance.
As the cacophony of hatred and separation grows louder, Sultanas must step into the light of truth and compassion and bring others along. The Way of Sultanas, fed by a lifetime of experiences, is the path of self-discovery and adventure, like the way of the pilgrims on the Camino de Santiago.
To keep the blood moving in Third and Fourth Act, we practice leaning into dynamic ease, grit and faith that we can handle whatever is in front of us. The questions of living fully before dying are sometimes answered by just doing the work in front of us, gathering the support we need, and letting go of expectations, imbibing the spirit of “Que será, será “.
Other times, it’s about reorganizing and reimagining, letting go of old habits that are no longer useful, and entering the sky of spaciousness with curiosity and creativity.
On the Earth:
This week my 7- month old grandson and his parents are visiting in REAL TIME, not face-time. I feel the energy of creation, marveling at his wide-eyed brightness, seeded by his Israeli-born mother.
Just lying beside him, I am immersed in drooling, gurgling sounds, smiles, rolling over, hands in mouth and kicking feet. His skin is as soft and loving as his heart. And when his nervous system gets overloaded, he screeches, signaling something is out of balance, and waits for comfort from his father. Sometimes I wish I could get away with that!
Ahhh. Playing my ukulele, I am singing “Puff, the Magic Dragon” to my grandson. He is cooing, I am quelling.
To be reminded of the innocence, complexity and responsibility of babies strengthens my resolve for right thought, right speech, right action in every encounter, in every relationship.
No grandchildren. Borrow mine! All Sultanas stand in the grandmother’s tent. It’s our job is to move things forward, to have difficult conversations, to keep things real and current so we can be more deeply connected to one another.
March Equinox 2018
In the Heavens:
First tropical storm of the 2018 Atlantic hurricane season, Alberto is raging outside, moving from Mexico's Yucatan Peninsula. Pelting rains, wild winds, and low gray cloud layer creates time for Netflix, creative down time, good food and music. Sort of like a snow day, only warmer.
Inside on the 11th floor, I am surrounded by 65 canvasses painted by Joel this season, stacked 2-3 deep on the floor. Par hazard, Joel has developed into an adventurous and talented abstract painter. He thinks his legacy is his real estate holdings but I know it will be his paintings.
On the Earth:
Ready for death doula duty In Toronto, I prepare for weekend with my 92 yr. old mother in palliative hospice care. Boots on the ground, staying present, while setting the stage for letting go. Little did I realize that much of my job would be dealing with the Canadian health care bureaucracy around palliative/hospice care.
After sitting beside my mother, Joy, and observing her dying process, it is clear to me that there are four realms: physical, mental, emotional and spiritual; that we are spirit in a human form. Joy’s physical body is imploding. Her mental acuity flows in and out in whispers, recollections, memories flying by. Her emotional - who knows? She still likes a good laugh, and loves her family above all. All 11 grandchildren were asked to call in to express their love for her. She smiles, ending with a soft
“ G-d bless you, dear. “
And now for the spiritual realm: my mother has a strong determined spirit. She had no use for rabbis, the religious ,the story of creation and Hashem. For her, there is no bright light in the beyond. For her, you are either here or you are not here. Simple. Black and white.
Yesterday, she whispered “I am scared of the dark”. Today she whispered “how do I feel? Up and down. I am in G-d’s hands.’ First mention of something beyond herself. She’s progressing into the past, uniting with the better angels of her nature.